Monday, April 12, 2010

Just when I begin to feel like a halfway decent (if not super) mother ...

Joe catches the evil head cold of death. And then, Steve and I both catch it as well. And then Rebecca catches it. And my world sinks into despair and doom.

I vaguely remember a time when, if I caught a bad cold or flu (which happened once or maybe twice per year), I would (1) call in sick to work; (2) lay on the couch, cradling a box of Kleenex in one arm and the remote in the other; (3) watch marathon episodes of Sex in the City, or Real Housewives of Orange County, or B-rated teenage girl movies, or something else wonderfully embarrassing and terrible; and (4) take multiple naps; while (5) Steve and Rebecca nursed me back to health, bringing me steaming mugs of Gypsy Cold Care tea and calling me "poor baby."

Post-baby, things look pretty different. Here's what a sick day looks like now: (1) Joe sucks on another baby's toys, catches his fifth mega-virus in six months, thoroughly coats every surface in the house with saliva and snot, and the rest of the household succumbs to the plague a couple days later; (2) I don't bother calling in sick to work, because, seriously, a day in the office sounds way more restful than staying at home with a snotty, fussy baby; (3) I come home early anyway, because I'm too sick to focus my snot-encrusted eyeballs on my computer monitor; (4) once home, I try to lay on the couch and watch bad television, while Snotty Joe has a fun time dropping beer bottles and matches into the toilet and eating dog kibble off the floor; (5) my husband, equally sick, eyes me resentfully as he carries Joe out of the bathroom for the third time in a half hour; (6) no one calls me "poor baby" and no one makes me tea; (7) I blow my nose on whatever I can find, including spare cloth diapers and dirty baby clothes; (8) Joe cries for his mommy; and (9) Steve and I cry for our mommies.

Repeat this process approximately once a month.


  1. unfortunately, all i can say, is "amen, sister." sometimes, and don't tell eli, i miss my old life!

  2. You make the horror sound so hilarious. Which is a total coping mechanism, I know. This was funny and sad -- excellent memoir material. Also, now I understand what our parents meant when they griped, "You don't know what I go through for you!" (I say this having just washed a massive load of poopy clothes, all just from this morning, in my bathtub, by hand.) Our kids are lucky to have us, aren't they?

  3. Thanks for this post. I agree with you that it is necessary to carefully monitor the health indicators of the child, since at a young age they are much more susceptible to external influences and can easily get sick. It is very important to treat on time and choose modern and high-quality methods of treatment. If you are as concerned about this topic as I am, then you will like the information in the article at where outlined how best to approach the choice of products for health and beauty. Do not ignore these tips, as it greatly affects the health of your children.


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